Monkey Bar Star!

Little Man is growing up. Faster, and faster. He is learning how to do new things. He is always excited when he accomplishes new things and is racing to tell us about his newest feat. He recently mastered the Monkey Bars while I was out of commission, so Randy being the great Dad captured the moment. Little Man has been wanting to do Monkey Bars since we bought our first swing set over two years ago. He is pleased with his new found ability. I loved Monkey Bars when I was a kid so it is fun to see my kids enjoy things I loved just as much. Good job Little Man!

Woman to Woman: Facing your parenting fears

Woman to Woman: Facing your parenting fears

I remember when I first found out I was pregnant with Little Man, I was ecstatic! Seriously ecstatic. I was going to be a Mom, life was going to be perfect. Then I thought about it more, analyzed it, and I realized I knew nothing. I didn't like to change diapers. I didn't love everyone elses kids. They thought of changing a diaper had me gagging and ready to throw up at any moment. What was I doing? And then there was the whole getting the baby out of me. Holy scary!

He came out and things went quite smoothly. And then in the wee hours of the morning I got to change my first diaper of my son. I took off his diaper, and he peed, and pooped the yucky black meconium. He peed and it hit him in his face, it was a mess. I paged a nurse since I needed new clothes for him and new bedding. I was afraid to tell them he peed in his face because I thought they would tell me what a bad Mom I was. But they asked and I sheepishly told them yes, and they laughed and said oh the joys of a boy! She reassured me things were okay and it was just fine.

I haven't had a lot of fears with raising my kids, besides them growing up in such a wicked world. I want to raise righteous children who love the Lord, who are hard workers, and kind. I pray that I am doing enough to help them and teach them.

My biggest fear I have had with my kids involves what other people say about me as a Mother, and about my children. When I hear things that are hurtful and mean said about my parenting, or about my children I fear that somehow it might be true, or will be. And I fight that much harder to keep it from ever being true. But the words haunt me. My biggest fear as a Mother is that they might be true and I don't know it. It crushes me when I hear things said about me or my children. It makes me whole body hurt. And I wonder why things that are hurtful would be said if there wasn't truth. But Randy is great to remind me it isn't true and I am a good mother, and my children are wonderful children of mine. Children who are very much like their Mother and Father. Children who make me laugh, who help me to remember the days when I was little. Children who make me feel complete, and who I would never change, and I love the way they are. The are perfect.

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Drug Free and Proud to Be!

Today is my first day not on pain pills. I am so glad to be "here" again and not feeling half crazy. I seriously hate the feeling of being out of it, and I have no idea why anyone would EVER do that for fun. YUCK! My shingles are scabbing up nicely. The pain is dulling significantly. I took a couple of Advil today and it kept things at bay. Little Man came home today and said, "Are you better or still sick." I said, "Better!" He got excited and said, "I knew it! You are better, that's great Mom!" Always nice when they are enthused that Mom is back to the land of the living.

So a couple of thank yous. To all of my wonderful friends who called to check in and offered to run errands and help out. Thanks! It made my day to feel so loved. Sorry for the groggy drugged state and anything I might have said that was inappropriate. The filter was OFF. Thanks Randy for being so great and picking up what I wasn't able to do. For being so kind and just your wonderful, awesome self! Seriously it was a great relief to not have to worry about everything. And thanks to my Mom, who is the BEST MOM EVER!!!!! Seriously, even Randy agrees! She came over and cleaned, did laundry, took care of Little Miss, took care of me, and was just wonderful! It is nice to feel loved, and to feel so important.

This week I am laying low.. getting all I need to get done, and just making sure my body is whole and rested. Then next week life will go into full swing and all the craziness I thrive on will be back!

I'm Here..

Alive.. but drugged. Here is my update.
Valtrex- Seems to be working. The shingles look better. It does however upset my stomach, and it is now making me puke. Yippee!
Pain Meds- Working great. They are keeping me nice and tired. In a weird drugged state (which I absolutely hate.. why would anyone want to feel like this on purpose.?? YUCK!) My filter is turned off when I am on them.. so I will keep this short.
Shingles- They hurt. A lot more than I thought they would. They itch too. But I think they are getting better.
Thankfully I have an awesome Mommy who has been helping out.. and a great husband who is encouraging my resting so I am better sooner rather than later.
And.. I learned some new photoshop stuff. I dreamed about it all night. It was weird.
That's all.

A Walker, Dentures, Blue Hair..

And I would be complete. I am feeling old. Really old. What would make me feel so old? Saturday afternoon, after my wonderful Lupus Walk, I went to the Doctor. I had found these weird spots on my back. When Randy looked at them he informed me I was going to the Dr. After waiting for 1 hour to see the Dr, I was diagnosed with Shingles. I wasn't sure what to do, so I said All I need is blue hair, a walker and dentures and I am set. And I started laughing. We had to go through a process of figuring out what to give me and how to adjust my other medicines, but I ended up with Valtrex. I was like ummm.. I have seen the commercials for that drug.. it is for herpes.. those other kind of herpes. I don't have herpes. I learned that Shingles is a form of herpes, so are Chicken Pox. Home I went with my Valtrex. And then I informed my friends that I was going to be home for a while since I was now 80.

Today I called my Rheumy to follow up with him and he said I needed some pain pills. This hurts.. more than I ever thought it would. My Mom and I go to pick up my meds and I get this bottle and I was like this is huge for pain meds. Normally when you get pain meds you get 20-30 pills tops. When I looked at the bottle I started laughing. It is one of the largest prescription bottles I have seen. Guess how many pills I got? 120. Evidently this is supposed to hurt a lot.. and for a while. Sounds like fun huh? I am really hoping to not need them that long. I despise the drugged feeling. But I do enjoy being able to sleep. And Randy will like me having sound sleep and not trying to smother him in my sleep. Evidently I couldn't get comfy and I put my pillow over his face the other night and he woke up gasping for air. Oops!

For the next little bit it looks like I am going to be hanging out at home. Hopefully these blasted things will go away quickly. But if not.. I will enjoy the week of rest after my last two crazy weeks. Enjoy the down time and the chance to catch up on some much needed rest.

Success!!

It has been a long day. A very long day. It started before the sun was even up. It has been a great day though.

I needed to leave by 6:30AM to get everything accomplished today for the Lupus Walk. Thankfully Allison was more than willing to accompany me and we headed off to get Ice and Bagels and go start the set up . I was anxious and praying that there would be more than 20 people there. We were there before Kathy and Bob got there, so we arranged tables, unloaded food, put water on ice, and anything else we could come up with. Bob and Kathy arrived and we got started on more things.. wonderful signs Allison made! Thank you very much. Laying more stuff out and just getting all of the final details readay. My parents arrived and my Dad and I positioned our main sign and managed to get it to hold still despite all the wind. Thank you water bottles!

People slowly arrived at 8:45 and from then on. And then a group came from Target. And they said more were coming. I figured they would have 10-15 people, but I was wrong. They had 80 people sign up. Not all of them came but they had at least 50 people. It was amazing. And I am incredibly grateful that they would give of their time and come support our cause!

We had a great DJ, Big B from one of my favorite radio stations. He did great! He was enthused and was a wonderful support and did a great job promoting our walk. He even let me be on the radio a few times! What's not to love about that?

We ended up with 93 people who walked our walk.. a few people didn't walk so I think we had 100 there. Which I am thrilled about. For our first walk, our first event here, that is a true success. Our raffle was great! We had wonderful prizes and I don't think I could have asked for things to go better. We had fun! We earned money for the Lupus Foundation! And we helped to Raise Awareness about a Not-So-Fun Disease. I am proud of the community. Proud of my wonderful friends who came, Tiff, Marianne, Jen, Carrie, Allison, Jenni and many more! Proud of my family and their efforts! Thankful to my family and friends for their great support and willingness to be there! I am looking forward to next year and to having an even bigger success! We can help to find a cure, find new drugs and raise awarness as to what Lupus really is. Thank you to all who donated.

I had to pick her up.. being 10 inches tall it was just too tempting! We had to get more pictures this year to go with last years and all of our other pics of us together. I didn't get pics with my kids or other friends and family.. oops! It was busy!

Lupus Walk Tomorrow!

I am so excited that the Walk is tomorrow! This has been a busy stressful time, but it has all come together. If you haven't donated and would like to please click here. I am excited about the great prizes we have and I am optimistic that we will have a great turn out. I have had great friends and family who have supported me throughout this. Thank you to each of you! I cannot wait to tell all of the details from our success tomorrow. Each dollar donated is so greatly appreciated. It all helps towards finding new medicines for Lupus, and hopefully one day a cure. I am so grateful to each of you who have donated, you have no idea how much I truly appreciate it. Thank you! Have a great day! And I hope to see a few of you there!

Do you Remember?

September 11, 2001.. It started out like a normal day for me. I got up and got ready for work. I was leaving our condo.. going over a speed bump and waving at an elderly guy in our complex and I heard on the radio a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. It was about 6:15 AM here. I thought it was weird but I pictured a little tiny plane, (two seater size). Not a BIG commercial plane. I drove to the lab, where I worked not thinking much about it. Strange things happen. I was six months pregnant with Little Man and he was very active that morning. I got into work and we turned the radio on like always and there was more on.. It wasn't just a small airplane, it was a big one. It wasn't anything like I had originally though it was. And then another plane had hit the other tower. I still didn't grasp the magnitude of it.

That day we were glued to the radio listening to every detail, and asking patients as they came in if they had heard anything knew. We couldn't believe that something like this had happened. That terrorists were so boldly attacking our home.. the land that we loved. I heard about the Pentagon and the flight in Pennsylvania. It shocked me. It terrified me. How could something like this happen. I was off work shortly after 2:00 and I drove to my parents and talked to them. The Mall was closed, schools were closed, people were home watching the TV. I watched for the first time video of the towers falling. A horrific image.. I watched in horror thinking this cannot really be happening. Why would anyone do this? So many innocent people dying. I looked at my stomach.. and wondered about bringing a child into a world like this.

That night I had a prenatal water aerobics class.. I went and the teacher asked us how we were doing. It was the first time I had thought about it. Before that I was just numb and shocked.. and slowly the tears came. I realized I was scared. I had no idea what the future would hold. I was floored that people would do such horrible hurtful things. We talked about the fears we had.. and how we wished this was just a bad dream. My heart hurt for the families who had lost their loved ones.

I watched daily as people were slowly found and rescued. Some families rejoiced while others mourned. It was tragic. It was all I could do to not sit and stare at the TV. It was a bad movie that I just couldn't turn off.. I wanted to know each detail, I wanted people to be safe for great miracles to happen. I wanted it to go away.

9/11 forever changed me. It changed how I view our country, and my patriotism. In 2004 I went to New York City with my family. I saw several firemen and police officers. I told one of them thank you for all he did, and my eyes welled up with tears. What so many of them have done is not forgotten it is not in vain. Many sacrificed their lives to try and save others. They are heroes. Whenever I hear the National Anthem tears come to my eyes, and I truly think of what that great song means. I am proud that I am an American. I am proud to live where I can worship God how I want, where I can have Freedom of Speech, where people have fought for my Freedom. I haven't forgotten those who died on that terrible day. Many families mourn their loved ones today. I mourn with them. And I pray that they have peace and know that their loved ones will forever be remembered.

May we never forget. May we always believe. May we unite and be stronger.

Three Weeks and Counting!

I have posted several times that I am chairing up a Lupus Walk, the Mad Hatter Walk and Roll. We are down to three weeks and a couple of days until the walk. I am so excited.. yet feeling scared and overwhelmed. I have put a lot of time and effort into this and I am praying that is the success I have envisioned. I am going to leave this post at the top of my blog until after the walk. I am hoping to raise at least $1000 for the Lupus Foundation. And I am calling out all of my faithful blog readers for help. Pass the word on to everyone you know, or if you would be so kind blog about it with a link back to my page or my First Giving Site where you can donate safe online it is tax deductible and it goes towards a great cause.
So go here, tell everyone about my page, and if you would like join me in my walk, raise money and come walk September 15th with me!

First Day of Preschool!!

Wow, Little Miss is in Preschool. She had her first day today and was absolutely thrilled to go. She could not wait to go to Little Man's old Preschool. She was so excited and just giddy to go. I let her wear part of her new school clothes.. and she is just tickled! So what does this mean for me? It means two days a week I don't have kids with me. It is weird.. it is slightly eerie.. I am not really sure what to think. But I do think that next year, it just might kill me. I am not THAT OLD yet.

The End of Summer!

In honor of my 200th Post on my BLOG I am posting a picture of me in my swimsuit. Yep.. you all get to see me in my swimsuit. Excited? Scared? Nervous? Wondering if I am on crack?

Every summer we swim a lot. And every summer we get pictures of us jumping off of the diving board and doing crazy things. It is tradition. We swam today and I realized I didn't have any of those pictures this year from the pool. We had them from boating, and from camping but no pool pictures. So I decided today was probably my last chance and I had better jump all over it. So here are our latest crazy jump pictures.

I cannot believe that it is September. We have had a busy summer. We played with friends, we camped, we boated, Randy learned to wakeboard, so did I! We had a chance to do some great family things.. we went to Silverwood.. which I have never blogged about. The pictures come to think of it are still on my other camera. Today was our last hoorah for summer.