Me Vs. The Scale

I have a love hate relationship with the scale. Mostly I hate it. I have this NUMBER. This magic number that I think I should weigh. Do I weigh it? No. Have I weighed it in years? No.

Randy recently said to me that my relationship with the scale determines my day I am going to have. I scoffed at that this. Whatever Randy. I am so not that worried about it. And then I started to watch myself. And as the numbers went lower I was more excited. I walked with an extra spring in my step. My hard work was paying off. And soon I would be at my magic number. It was going to happen. And then one evening I weighed and was excited at how low my number was, and was even more excited that tomorrow I would be much lighter. I called Randy in to show him and I stepped on the scale and it went up nearly 5lbs in that instant.

I pondered how did this happen? I didn't magically gain all of this weight in one minute. It wasn't possible. The next morning it stayed true to the almost 5lb weight gain. And guess what my mood was like? I was irritated. I was upset that my hard work was gone in an instant. The numbers were higher and I was not within pounds of my goal. The scale had robbed me of my hard work. Randy found he was nearly five pounds heavier also.. hmpf.. at least it wasn't just me. I pondered had my scale just been going lower and lower as an error? Was I in fact not changing my body with all of my hard work? What was I doing wrong? How did this happen? And what was I going to do about it.

Darn Randy and him being right. I thought on this more. And I know in 1 minute I didn't go up five pounds. I know that. But darn if it didn't drive me crazy. I started a new workout regimen nearly 4 weeks ago. And when I started I decided I was going to take weekly pictures of me in my swimsuit. And finally this week after my scale battle I pulled them off of my card and looked at them. And to my surprise the difference from the first day, until the end of week 3 was quite noticeable. Things were tighter. Things weren't as squishy. I didn't sag as much. The dimples were less, and my body looks like I do in fact weigh what it said I weighed and then reneged on. And I keep reminding myself and looking at the pictures it doesn't matter what the scale says. It doesn't. Because pictures don't lie. I am smaller than I was. I am less squishy than I have been. I have muscle in places I wasn't sure I could have muscle in anymore. And I am in better shape.

I still have my scale. But I think it is a liar. I will continue to keep taking my weekly pictures to see progress. Seeing progress motivates me to try harder. And today I am determined to let the scale rule me less. To have a better outlook. To see my body in a healthier better way. Instead of seeing my flaws, look for the good. Sadly lately I have only seen the things I do not like about my body. And I don't like that. This is one of my struggles in life. To see my body and be okay with it. Sometimes I do better. Sometimes I do worse. Today I am recommitting to do better, to have a better out look. For me. For my Daughter. For my Son. For my Husband. For my Heavenly Father.

And with that I am issuing a challenge blog about one of your battles. Link a comment back here for others to see. Our challenges we face whether big or small make us who we are. They change how we see others, how we see ourselves, how we view the world. Today I am determined to only say nice things about myself. Because if I don't like me, who will?