Keeping it Real

Let's be honest. Do I ever not keep it real? I don't think so. What you see is what you get with me. Good, or bad. You pick.

In the spirit of being super real. Have I mentioned how awesome Randy is? Because he is THAT awesome. When I count my blessings he is at the top of my list.

I was talking to my sister in law today and she told me about a friend who just lost her husband. He was killed tragically at work. She is left with three children and pregnant with her fourth. My heart broke for her when she told me this. And I had tears for a woman I do not know, and she is only a few years older than me.

I thought about this. And I wondered do I treasure my husband like I should? Am I the type of wife I should be? I think most of the time the answer is yes. My husband is my best friend. Hands down. He knows me and gets me better than anyone. He loves me no matter what is going on and I am so very blessed. I will drop anything and everything minus my kids to spend time with Randy. I feel like I treasure him. I also feel very treasured by him. After ten years of being married I still would rather have him home and with me all day rather than gone and at work. A day with him home is fabulous. Sometimes I cannot wait until we are old and grey and can spend all day together, everyday.

But when I think about am I the type of wife I should be? I don't know. Sometimes I could scream from the hills absolutely. And other times I am dropping the ball left and right. Lately I feel like I am trying to juggle.. but with a blindfold on. It's not working so well. Randy has had to catch all the balls that go flying in every direction. And he does. Is he the type of husband he should be? Absolutely. There is no question in my mind. He willingly helps me in any way he can. But I feel like he is carrying the lions share right now. He carries my laundry upstairs, cleans up most of the dinner dishes, does the vacuuming, and helps me in any way he can. I love it. But I hate it. Due to the breathing issues I have going on he helps out when my breathing is crappy. And since that is way too often, he is doing way more than he should have to. I am trying to remedy a way to fix that. Anyone up for a lung transplant? Mine are fabulous.. really.. they are. :)

Along this way I am learning though. Learning that compassion is a great blessing. And I have a wonderfully compassionate husband who gets when I am just not up to par. He jumps to help me before I realize I am needing it. Randy never makes me feel like a burden. That is a huge blessing in itself. And he knows when things balance out again, and they will. That I will be right back there doing my full share, and trying to do more of his, to help him out.

Today I have reflected on the wife I am. And the wife I want to be. I want to be a kinder wife. A gentler wife. I want to make sure I am always Randy's biggest fan. I want him to always know he can count on me to have his back no matter what. I want to be the biggest blessing in his life, like he is in mine. After all, he has me for eternity.