Create

I loved President Uchtdorf's talk when I heard it. And today watching this. Listening to this, I love this more. I am a Mom that struggles with my balance. I want to do everything I can to play with my kids, to be the Mom they remember and love and want to be like. I want to be the Mom that plays with her kids. Makes fun treats. Takes time to listen to them.

I also want to be the Mom who creates beautiful images. Who paints pictures. Who embraces the arts that I love. Balance is hard for me. I struggle to keep a proper balance of my creations, and being the Mom I want to be. This simple video reminds me that it is okay to create. My photography is a gift from my Heavenly Father and it is a talent that I can embrace and do. As I create I teach my kids also.

I am often one who says I am not crafty. I don't feel creative. But when I look at things like art, I love art in all aspects. But I love to create art above all us. And I love to sew. I love to make fun new foods. I realize I do like to create. And my children are my best creation to date. President's Uchtdorf's simple message is one that helps me to remember it is okay. My creations are part of who I am. And balancing along the way. I do my best.

Me Vs. The Scale

I have a love hate relationship with the scale. Mostly I hate it. I have this NUMBER. This magic number that I think I should weigh. Do I weigh it? No. Have I weighed it in years? No.

Randy recently said to me that my relationship with the scale determines my day I am going to have. I scoffed at that this. Whatever Randy. I am so not that worried about it. And then I started to watch myself. And as the numbers went lower I was more excited. I walked with an extra spring in my step. My hard work was paying off. And soon I would be at my magic number. It was going to happen. And then one evening I weighed and was excited at how low my number was, and was even more excited that tomorrow I would be much lighter. I called Randy in to show him and I stepped on the scale and it went up nearly 5lbs in that instant.

I pondered how did this happen? I didn't magically gain all of this weight in one minute. It wasn't possible. The next morning it stayed true to the almost 5lb weight gain. And guess what my mood was like? I was irritated. I was upset that my hard work was gone in an instant. The numbers were higher and I was not within pounds of my goal. The scale had robbed me of my hard work. Randy found he was nearly five pounds heavier also.. hmpf.. at least it wasn't just me. I pondered had my scale just been going lower and lower as an error? Was I in fact not changing my body with all of my hard work? What was I doing wrong? How did this happen? And what was I going to do about it.

Darn Randy and him being right. I thought on this more. And I know in 1 minute I didn't go up five pounds. I know that. But darn if it didn't drive me crazy. I started a new workout regimen nearly 4 weeks ago. And when I started I decided I was going to take weekly pictures of me in my swimsuit. And finally this week after my scale battle I pulled them off of my card and looked at them. And to my surprise the difference from the first day, until the end of week 3 was quite noticeable. Things were tighter. Things weren't as squishy. I didn't sag as much. The dimples were less, and my body looks like I do in fact weigh what it said I weighed and then reneged on. And I keep reminding myself and looking at the pictures it doesn't matter what the scale says. It doesn't. Because pictures don't lie. I am smaller than I was. I am less squishy than I have been. I have muscle in places I wasn't sure I could have muscle in anymore. And I am in better shape.

I still have my scale. But I think it is a liar. I will continue to keep taking my weekly pictures to see progress. Seeing progress motivates me to try harder. And today I am determined to let the scale rule me less. To have a better outlook. To see my body in a healthier better way. Instead of seeing my flaws, look for the good. Sadly lately I have only seen the things I do not like about my body. And I don't like that. This is one of my struggles in life. To see my body and be okay with it. Sometimes I do better. Sometimes I do worse. Today I am recommitting to do better, to have a better out look. For me. For my Daughter. For my Son. For my Husband. For my Heavenly Father.

And with that I am issuing a challenge blog about one of your battles. Link a comment back here for others to see. Our challenges we face whether big or small make us who we are. They change how we see others, how we see ourselves, how we view the world. Today I am determined to only say nice things about myself. Because if I don't like me, who will?

More Good News

In 5 weeks from tomorrow my kids and I will board an airplane. And we will fly across the country, home to Washington for eight wonderful days. We are excited to go home. To see our family. To see our friends. And just be home.

While we are home I will take a few photo shoots. I will be there March 31-April 8. If you are interested in a shoot either leave a comment, or send me a email and you can get all of the info on my Special for you.

I am anxious to come home. We are counting down the days.

Happy Monday.

Thankful

Today I am thankful. Thankful for prayers, love, concern, kindness, and all of our wonderful friends and family who support us.

Today we still have a job. We made it through, and life will continue on, and we are very thankful.

Today

I am feeling hopeful. Our date for the job announcement has been moved to Monday. 9:45AM EST to be exact. And since I like to be more correct I have to put it to the exact time. We will be waiting by the phone for the call to find out if we still have a job. Three days to go. I can do this.

I am feeling happy. It is Friday. It has been a great week, and I am excited for the weekend. We are puppy-sitting a little beagle. The kids are thrilled. We are going to a gymnastics competition to watch the great gymnasts. (Not our gymnast.)

I am feeling strong. I have been doing a great Jillin Michaels workout for nearly three weeks and I feel great. I am stronger, and I am enjoying my workouts.

I am feeling the need to buck up. I too often get caught up in what is wrong with me.. my body.. blah blah blah. It's stupid. And I am committing to do better. For me. For Randy. For Little Man, and Little Miss. I can do this.

And lastly I am feeling hungry. I am celebrating a friends birthday tonight with delicious ice cream cupcakes from Coldstone. I am anticipating eating said goodness.

Happy Friday.

My Valentine

A few reasons why I love my Valentine:

1. He makes me laugh.
2. He loves me.
3. He makes me feel better about myself everyday.
4. He is my best friend.
5. He is every bit as good as he thinks he is. (And that's pretty good, just ask him.)
6. He puts up with my craziness.
7. He completes me.
8. He is my best friend.
9. He works hard to support us.
10. He chose me.

Happy Valentine's Day. I love you more each day.

Ready for the Party

Today my kids had their Valentine's Parties at school. They were thrilled. I didn't catch a picture of the two of them together, but I did happen to get them individually. The kids each had clothes picked out for today making sure they were wearing at least some red.

The parties were awesome. They received several Valentine's. And Little Man even received some from friends and family from around the nation. Thanks to all who participated in his surprise. He loved it. He even got a Valentine from his best buddy from Kindergarten back in Washington. Little Miss was most excited about her outfit. Red and pink. Her favorite colors. Hearts. Her favorite shape. Sparkles. Her everyday necessity. She helped to choose her clothes, and I was more than happy to oblige.

The kids are anxiously awaiting tomorrow hoping that Mom and Dad shower them with Valentine's. Maybe they will get delicious pancakes in heart shapes, or at least tinted pink. Maybe. And really the purpose behind this post. To show my kids. Because I don't do it enough.

First 5

So I got this from my friend's blog, I think it's such a great idea and can't wait to do it.
{Lucky you!}

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.
This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2- What I create will be just for you.
3- It'll be done this year.
4- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be photography or an article on properly cleaning your face before a masque. I may sew or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
5- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me! Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!}

Kentucky

I live close to Kentucky. I still find that funny and weird. All at the same time. Last week we wanted to go the temple. And we decided we would take the kids with us and trade off. Thankfully Saturday proved to be a warm day. And I brought my camera with us. My kids were excited to go on their first trip to Kentucky. Little Miss has been telling people we went to California.. (I wish.)

To pass the time I brought my camera, and my kids were terrific sports and we had a photo shoot around the temple. We took over 500 pictures. Kind of insane. And I didn't take one of just the temple. I pulled out my 85mm lens, and that baby produces the best images. I love my prime lenses and really should pull them out more often. This lens always leaves me drooling.

We made the kids dress up. Here is Little Man. He is in desperate need of a haircut, but we just don't seem to fit that in lately. Hopefully we will soon.

And a quick shot of Little Miss. I love how sweet she looks. Little Man wanted to be the photographer. And being the AWESOME mom that I am gave it to him. I love this picture he captured of Little Miss and me. And I was brave and even gave Little Miss a chance to take a few of Little Man and I. Well.. they are blurry. And crazy. We need to practice a little bit more with a lighter, more manageable camera.
We finished our day off downtown Louisville at the Hardrock Cafe. My kids could barely sit still. They wanted to rock out and show off their mad air guitar skills. My kids baby. My kids. Do they get much better than this? I don't think so.

In 16 days..

We will know if we have a job. Isn't that delightful. I have been on this countdown forever. Knowing that the New Commercial Model would be rolling out. Knowing that Merck was doing a much needed layoff with reps, and having less reps out there. It needs to happen. In fact Randy has said this about the Pharma industry forever, just as long as he is part of it. So in 16 days we find out if we are in fact part of the "New Commercial Model" (we better be.) Not like I am counting down or anything.

Today I am feeling very optimistic. Randy is among the top reps in the nation. He is rocking his numbers. And really he is pretty darn awesome at his job. We are anxious for February to be over. Very anxious.

And my poor friends have had to hear me whine and worry for the last several weeks.. months.. forever as we have been anticipating this day. They are true saints for listening to me. I haven't been the most pleasant. I think every other sentence is :"we can do...... if we still have a job." Sounds super fun to be around right? Not at all. I promise I will be a more enjoyable person. Really. I will.

31

Today my big brother turned 31. And I doubt he will ever read this, but I miss him today. I miss living next to him. I miss hanging out with him. I just miss my brother.

Growing up he was my best friend. I was not always his best friend.

I wanted to be just like him.

I always wanted to kiss his friends.

He taught me how to play basketball.

He taught me to not be afraid of the ball.

He taught me to pitch a baseball as good as any boy.

He pushed my big wheel up the big hill.

He always kept me in line. I am the loud obnoxious one. He is the quiet conservative one.

He didn't get mad at me when I ran him over on the tube and he got a concussion.

He didn't hit me with a stick when he was given the opportunity. Or a belt either.

He let me be part of the secret club. And let me in on where all the booby traps were.

He let me tag along with his friends and him.

He stuck up for me.

He calls me just to say Hi sometimes.

I cried my eyes out when he went on his mission.

I want my daughter to have the same relationship with her brother, that I had with mine.

He married a great girl. (I got a great sister.)

His little family is perfect.

We lived by each other for the first time in ten years for two year. It was the best. Now I live way far away from him.

He is the type of brother every sister should have.

I miss him.

I wish I was there to say Happy Birthday.

But instead I called him. And called him. And called him. Because I miss him that much.

And I left a message on his facebook page.

And I thought about writing a card. But I didn't. But he doesn't care, he knows I love him anyway.

Happy Birthday Bro. I hope your day is wonderful. I hope you get all your birthday wishes. And I hope I get to see you soon. Love your sister who still thinks you are pretty RAD.

Contemplating

If you don't want to hear me be all right winged, and political go now. Run far far away.

I like Glenn Beck. I like his radio show. But I LOVE his TV show. I find it to be so interesting, informative, and it makes me laugh. And contemplate. I watched tonight's show, after watching President Obama's speech tonight. I was grateful to hear what Glenn Beck had to say.

I worry that our country which is heading towards a socialist nation will go even farther and become a communist nation. I worry about what my children are being taught in school. I worry about these stupid bailouts. I believe the companies should be allowed to fail. If the government keeps bailing them out they will not learn, and the government gets more and more control of our nation. I worry about where our future is headed. I worry about the world my children are growing up in.

I don't believe in the SCHIPS bill that was signed today. I do not believe it will help our country. Health Insurance is not a right. We are not entitled to it. It is a benefit. I do not believe that allowing states to allow illegal aliens health insurance is the right route. I do not believe that taxing cigarettes up the ying yang is the way to pay for this. And I do not support smoking. I do not believe that children should qualify as people under thirty. If that was right since I am under thirty I could get this. I am a grown up. I have children of my own. I have a home, I can do things. This isn't the government's responsibility. Not at all. It is mine.

I feel like the drive to do better, work harder is gone. Why don't we all just go sit on the system? What are we teaching people if we keep giving more and more handouts. I believe these programs are there for a purpose. They are there to help, to provide relief when it is needed. They are not there to sustain people forever.

I get so irritated back home everyday at the park they served free lunches through the school district. My tax dollars hard at work. How is that even right? The kids aren't in school in the summer. And can't people feed their own families? Or do we need to rely on the government for that too? What happened to being self-reliant? To being a capitalist nation.

I believe in the America our Father's founded. I believe in being God-Fearing people. I believe in our Constitution. And if you believe these things send a picture of yourself to wesurroundthem@gmail.com and Glenn Beck is going to put pictures up of those who believe these things.

And lastly I know not everyone who reads this will agree with me. That is fine. I still like you. And the great thing is we are able to believe what we choose. And it is okay. I know people are down on their luck right now. And they need help. But it shouldn't be a way of life.

Last Year

I was holding my girl who was very sick. She had had her tonsils out and it was horrible for her. She lost seven pounds, which on her frame was a ton. She had trips back to the hospital and her speech was even worse than before. I remember thinking this is worth it right? Her speech will be better.. right?

And I am happy to say that her speech while still not perfect, is better. The "L" is not always clear, but she is making progress. And we are almost 100% on everything else. We still have the "R" and the "TH" to get down and then we will be all done. She has speech every week, but the improvements we have seen in the past year make last years month of hard times very worth it.

And this week she said Little perfect. My heart soared for her. A small accomplishment, but one we all cheered for. It is coming. Slowly, but surely.

And Yes I do have Little Man still. You will hear all about him soon.