This installment's topic: "Is it really a family night out?" in which you may share your views regarding children under age 5 attending formal events (such as funerals, concerts, weddings, even church services). We hope that those of you who have "tried and true" tips and tricks up your sleeve will share those as well.
No one wants their child to be the one that is screaming and that you have to drag out of the room. Or disturbing people at a peaceful dinner, or while they are listening to a concert, attending a funeral, or wedding. As I talked about yesterday, no one wants to be judged for the way their children behave. Easy way to avoid that, don't take them. BUT.. is that how we want to live our life? My kids are both 5 and under.. so I am 100% in this stage of life right now.
When my son was 5 months old we took him to the movies for the first time. He was quiet he nursed, and slept. We took him for about 5 more months, he would eat popcorn, or cheerios and silently sit there. Then we tried another movie, and about 20 minutes into it, we left. He was being noisy and did not want to sit, and we didn't want to ruin it for everyone, we decided either a babysitter would be good, or we would wait to rent it.. or even buy it for the same price as attending the theater.
I have taken my kids to funerals. Just recently Little Miss went with me to a friend's funeral, we were traveling a great distance and I didn't have anywhere for her to go. I took color crayons and a coloring book, and thankfully she was reverent and sat there quietly enjoying her crayons. It helped that the funeral was short. Also many loved ones of my friends, her sibling brought their young children. I didn't take Little Man, the two together I would have been out numbered and it would have ended in chaos. Funerals are not something I like to take my children to, they are sad, and my children do not fully comprehend what is going on, and I don't want that taken away from them yet. I try whenever possible when I am attending a funeral to find a place where my kids can go, so those that mourn can mourn in peace without the screeching of children.
Church, being LDS our children go to Church and are expected to sit through a 70 minutes Sacrament Meeting, and once they are 18 months they go to nursery, but until then they go to Sunday School with us, and to Relief Society. Some days at Church it is a GREAT CHALLENGE. I have had many days wondering what is the purpose when I am out in the hall trying to calm a child who is screeching and tired, and will not give up. But then you see your child reverently fold their arms, and pray. They ask about Jesus, and what to know more about their Heavenly Father. And even though it is work it is worth it. We have a Church Bag. It has greatly blessed our lives. I go to Wal-Mart and get the cheap little toys for under $2, and a new coloring book and crayons, and they get them only at Church after the Sacrament has been passed. Every six months I go and restock it so they do not get bored with what is in there. They don't get them any other time except at Church. It helps them greatly. Are they perfect, no. There have been several embarrassing moments, but thankfully we have all been there.
We on occasion will take our kids to restaurants for dinner. A while ago we went to Red Lobster, we took our two kids and told them where we were going and talked about behavior. I was sure it wasn't being listened to, but I prayed it was. Our kids were angels that night. Now before you think I have angel kids who behave perfectly everywhere, or that I am this magnificent parent, I assure you, neither is true. I have found when we are taking them to dinner that night, feed them a sandwich at noon, and nothing until dinner. It is best if you go to dinner by 5:00 though. And I am not talking little, little kids. Age three and up. My kids are always so hungry and ready for dinner they sit their quietly and enjoy their dinner until their plate is clean. We have done this several times, and like that day at Red Lobster, we were complimented on our well behaved children. No snacks, it is a magic trick. And I think only have two makes it much easier for us than those with larger families, I don't know how they do it.
Also, we are not above bribery. It works wonders. What kid doesn't want to get ice cream, or a yummy treat or a balloon? Everyone likes a reward. It always seems to work wonders for us.
There are many times that kids are better off home. I try to be considerate of others. But I also know that when it is just Randy and I out and we here kids shrieking that the parents are doing their best, and sometimes you just need to get out. Even if it means your kid will cry, or fits will be thrown. We all try to gain a little bit of sanity in our lives.. one way or another.
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10 comments:
Well written, and coming from someone who is currently at that stage, you bring great credibility to what you say. Your suggestions are good, especially the one about going to the restaurant hungry. Why didn't I think of that? Actually, we didn't take our kids out much when they were little (1970s) because we were too broke. Now THAT'S a solution for you.
Thanks for participating and I hope to see you at the next one.
I like your solutions. I do have sunday bags but right now it is a diaper bag. :) I think once my littlest is in nursery I will do what you suggest with new stuff every 6 months. We do keep Sunday oriented books in them, and a copy of the children's friend.
Enjoyed reading your post. As one who has a big family, we do it the same as those with smaller families. . .practice, practice, practice!!
Loved your thoughts on this! It's important to let your children know your expectations of them in a given situation. I believe they will usually try to please.
:)
Lee - seeing my 2 yr. old fold his arms, bow his head and close his eyes during prayers is a big time validating moment for me... the only way I know I am making a difference (these days)! Thanks so much for participating. :)
I appreciated what you had to say, I feel the same way, and strive to do the same thing.
I have a couple of different out bags, so I grab one and then switch next time we go out, or they oftenc choose one..they want.
It really does work, and help!
I, too, am in the middle of this stage and some days are definitely more challenging than others. However, as long as we are consistent and we are trying to teach our children to be reverent, I think we are doing just fine :)!!
Well said!!! I like that you respected the others at the movie, and took your little one out. It may be an inconvenience but it's the thing to do. We almost always buy movies for home viewing. It's cheeper, and we don't have to make arrangement for the kids.
Great ideas!! Thanks for sharing.
I've found the more restaurants we take our kids, the better they are. When we didn't take them often, they had a hard time because there was no practice. And we take them places with music playing and preferably TVs blaring so noone notices my kids!
Something we always do at a resturant is ask for something for the kids immediately - fries, bread, fruit... whatever they might have. Especially if it's busy and you know there's going to be a wait for your food :)
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