Not sure I am ready for this..

Today after being chastised for not going to an eye doctor in eight years I went. They think they know why I have headaches.. almost daily. Ready for it? I need glasses. But not all of the time. I need them for the computer.. (I love my computer.. no wonder I always have a headache.. between editing and blogging!!) I need them for reading. I need them for piano. Three things I do daily. Hopefully in 7-9 business days once I have them back my headaches will cease. I see 20/20. (Hence the reason I didn't ever go to the doctor, I see just fine.) But I have an astigmatism. And a very slight one at that, but enough to strain my eyes. And since everyone wants to see pictures.. here they are. An extreme close up of me makeup less with hot red glasses. Excited? I'm not. But I will manage. If my headaches cease, I will be thrilled. And if they don't. On to plan B.

4 days..

But whose counting? Me. I am totally counting down the days until I go back home to Washington. And while I am excited about this.. I thought I would mention I have two last minute spots open for pictures. And if you are interested leave me a comment or drop me an email at lee1201 (at) msn (dot) com. I will do my best to work with your schedule. And if they stay open I am just going to live it up with my family.

My sister in law keeps asking me what do I want to do while I am home. My response is simple. Have fun. Hang out. Talk. Spend time with family. And lastly hit the Church Bookstore. Really my requests are quite simple. I am excited for the kids to play with their cousins. Excited to see some of my friends. And just be in my favorite state. Washington.

I hope these next four days fly by. And the following eight drag on forever.

The End of Basketball Season

Little Man had his last game of the season three weeks ago. And I am finally blogging this. I meant to do it sooner.. but life gets busy.. and I took well over 450 pictures.. so I have been procrastinating doing anything with them. I finally went through and kept my favorites of everyone on the team. And I am refusing to edit them. They are snapshots, and I want to just enjoy them as that. I have a hard time not editing every pic.. but I am leaving this alone.

Back to basketball. This time Randy was the coach. He did a stellar job if I do say so myself. He was very patient with the kids, and the kids loved him. They learned a lot and it was a wonderful experience.

This was the last shot at the very end of the game. They were all so excited!!

I love how he is ready to receive the pass. He loved every minute of playing basketball, and cannot wait to do it again.

Over the course of basketball this year his skills improved greatly. His dribbling is much better. His passes are firm. His shooting has improved a ton from where he was at the beginning of the season. We are so proud of him! Great job Little Man!!! You are our Basketball Star!

My Mom

Celebrated her birthday yesterday. And rather than telling everyone her age like always.. I am keeping it mum. How many years has it taken me to do this? Yesterday I was going to blog about it all day. But I was sad.. and it would have been weepy, and depressing, so I didn't.

Today however I want to wish my Mom a wonderful day late Birthday. I did happen to speak to her several times.. but I like to wish her a wonderful day here too. This year is the first year in my life I wasn't there to wish her a Happy Birthday in person. It felt so very wrong. I was nostalgic for last year.. I knew last year I wouldn't live near her this year so we had a fun day. Last year we shopped. I bought her some new Mary Jane Crocs.. and then her sister sent her a pair the same color, so we exchanged the ones I bought her for gorgeous aqua instead of boring brown. Last year we ate lunch at Olive Garden. Last year we made the day as full as possible knowing it might be the last time for a while.

This year I waited for hours to call her. And when I did she didn't answer. Darn time difference. But my sweet sister called me back. We had a delightful conversation and then my Mom joined in and we were all able to wish her a wonderful day. My kids were thoroughly bummed that we weren't able to go to Grandma's on her 'Special Day'. So was I. But we enjoyed time together as our own little family. And we talked to her several times throughout the day. Wishing her as many birthday wishes as we could from 2200+ miles away.

I miss my Mom. It's not a secret to anyone. My Mom was who I called to go to the mall. To help me with my kids. To just hang out with. I relied on my Mom for more than just Mom stuff. She is my friend. And years of having her be my closest friend besides Randy, I miss just doing stuff with my Mom whenever. I still talk with her almost daily.. and often multiple times in a day. I talk to Randy most... and then her. I am counting down the days until I get to see her again. I think I miss my Mom more than anything else about moving. And I keep thinking it will get easier.. but I still get that pit from time to time... those moments I wonder what in the heck I am doing so far away.. but we have been so very blessed and it is okay. I just miss her. And it has been nearly four months since I have seen my Mom. That is the longest I have ever went. And I am ready to see her.

Some of the fantastic things about my Mom.

She is a fantastic violinist. She is playing in the symphony right now as I type.

She loves music, and taught me to love music. Especially classical.

She is the type of Mom every kid deserves to have. And one the type that I hope to be.

She has a strong testimony of prayer. And she taught that to me at an early age.

She believes in the Gospel with all her being. She lives it that way too.

She is kind and selfless. She came to take care of me for 18 days after my knee surgery.

She is the type of Grandma every Grandkid deserves. She plays on the floor with my kids, reads them stories, calls them all of the time, sends them little notes in the mail because they love mail so much, and wants to know every detail of their lives.

She is strong. We have all put her through so much with health stuff in my family, and she is strong, always strong and moving forward.

She makes the best cinnamon rolls ever. And thankfully I have her top secret recipe.

She is gorgeous. And I think that goes without even saying.. but she is gorgeous inside and out.

I am blessed to call her my Mother. I am blessed that I am her daughter.

I love you Mom. I wish I could be there. But for some reason my life is supposed to be here. Not there.

Be Kinder.. To Ourselves.

Today I am going to get on my soapbox. One that I haven't been on for a while here on this blog. I need to say it.. hear it.. believe it.. live it.

It seems like so often we as women.. (and some men) get caught up in what we look like and if we were thinner, stronger, cuter, and so it goes we would be happier, our life would be better.. we would be wonderful. But guess what? We already are.

I have been reading different books lately, pondering, thinking. I hate our media. Hate it. I hate how women feel like if they don't look like the airbrushed women in magazines they aren't skinny enough, pretty enough, blah, blah, blah. And I am not excluding myself from this list of women who feels like this. And I often think why? Why do I do this? Why do wonderful women I know do this? It doesn't make sense. I look at women I know and see beautiful wonderful women. I don't see them and think oh.. you would be so cute if you were only five pounds thinner. Or if you could firm up more you would be perfect. I don't care what they look like. I care who they are. And who they believe they are.

I think we have these unrealistic expectations for ourselves.. and even others. Is that fair to us? To anyone around us? To our children? To our spouse? I don't think so. It doesn't teach them to love themselves. It teaches them to be critical of themselves. And my body, it is a gift. A most sacred gift from my Heavenly Father. Would I say such negative things about any other gift he has blessed me with? I certainly hope not. And how does a parent feel when their words and actions are being mimicked in their child.

I believe that Satan is doing his best to destroy the sacred blessing of womanhood. Destroying the blessings of Motherhood by making us feel like our bodies, the way we look isn't okay. That if we aren't the perfect size, with the perfect perky boobs, super flat non-stretch marked tummy that we aren't ok. But guess what? Heavenly Father made us each in his image. He didn't decide to make some of us funny looking so he could laugh at us. He is our loving Heavenly Father. He knew our bodies would change, but our bodies are beautiful. I wish that we could have the charity for ourselves to see ourselves as he sees us. He has blessed us with the ability to bear children. To create life. It comes at a "sacrifice" of the perfect body we had when we were teenagers. But wouldn't you rather have the imperfect body and be happy, rather than the perfect body and not have your children.

My friend Misty is one of the best examples of this that I know. She is beautiful inside and out. She gets serious stretchmarks from her babies, and she is still rockin' it. If I didn't have her I think I wouldn't get how very important this is. She is one of those people who just gets it. And I consider myself blessed to call her a dear friend. In fact one of my best friends. She believes she is awesome.. and her belief radiates and I truly believe she has charity for herself. She knows who she is. She knows the divine purpose of her body. And she sees it in every other woman she knows. She is one of my best examples of people I want to emulate. I want to have that type of self worth.

So today.. I am embracing my body. The stretchmarks.. the sagging. The 20-something body that is vastly different than it was ten years ago. But blessed many times over for all of the changes it has made. I will love my body for all it does for me. I will see my body as the gift and the blessing that it truly is. I will embrace my changes from pregnancy and wear them as a badge of honor for the gift of my wonderful children. They have enriched my life so greatly.

I am determined to be kinder with myself. Kinder with all around me. And I hope everyone can see no matter the shape or size we are all uniquely beautiful. Embrace your body. Go swim with your kids and don't worry about the crazy cover ups. Be proud of all your body can and does do.

Ready for Spring

I am so ready for Spring. I am ready for the sun to be shining. For the birds to be singing. For flowers to be blooming. For the grass to be green. I want Spring!!

I am getting ready for Spring. I ordered a ton of new plants from Spring Hill Nursery and they will come in about five to six weeks. Scott's lawn service just left after putting a nice treatment on my yard, it will be green and lush this year. And I am dreaming of sitting on my porch enjoying my yard while reading a book and drinking some lemonade. That is the life.

Unfortunately when you look at my yard it is currently a mess. The grass is horrible looking. But it should perk up soon. My flower beds have holes in them. I was asked last week if we had gofer's. Umm.. nope just really big labs. Currently I am looking for ways to stop them from digging in my flower beds. Love the dogs.. hate the digging. And the pee circles are enough to drive me batty. We heard tomato juice helps to balance their ph.. we are trying it. They get tomato juice everyday.

And hopefully in May my yard will start to look like what I am envisioning with beautiful flowers. A lush yard. And Spring will be on in full fledge. I am so ready for it.

The Baking Truth

I would love to be that Mom who bakes for her kids. The one who has fresh cookies in the cookie jar. The one who always has fresh treats for anyone who stops by. But the truth is every time I make cookies I decided to make a double batch. And every time I hate it. HATE IT. The dough is all sticky. I don't have cookie ball maker thingy. My hands are all gooey.. and it goes on for hours... and hours.. and hours. Blech. Sadly I am the Mom who buys the frozen dough already in nicely formed balls, and my children are thrilled when I 'make' cookies.

I am always envious of my friends who are the Mom's who can just whip up a batch of cookies like that and it is no problem. I am not like them. Not at all.

I have hope though that things might be turning around. The other day while at Beth's for Cub Scout's she had cookies for the kids. And I ate one.. and it was quite possibly the best chocolate chip cookie I had ever eaten. It was crisp. It was chewy. It wasn't flat. Or hard. It was good. I asked her for the recipe.. it was much better than any chocolate chip cookie that has come out of my kitchen.. from frozen dough or my own attempts. She kindly pulled the paper out of the trash.. thankfully it was on the very top and told me she got the recipe from Smitten Kitchen. I was thrilled and happily brought it home. And then quickly forgot about my desire to make these cookies.

This morning the kids and I were cleaning the house. And I saw the recipe. I told them if they worked hard I would make them cookies. And then I wondered why would I agree to do this after I had already scrubbed my kitchen.. but they worked hard.. and earned their reward. And so I began the cookie making process. And things went well. I didn't get flour everywhere like normal when I double my batch. (I think I am incapable of making a single batch of cookies.) And then it said to use either a 1/4 cup or 1 tablespoon to scoop the cookies, depending on the size. I never ever make big cookies. I am about how many I get to eat. I would rather have 3 small ones than one big one. Strange eh? I never use my measuring spoons, I have tried before, but they are always sticky, messy and I am cursing the spoon amongst other things. It is not a pleasant time at my house. But today I figured I should try the spoon. And it worked. The dough fell right out in a nice round ball. They looked perfect. I keep scooping and it kept working. And my heart was light. My attitude had changed. This was fun. Could making cookies really be this great? Even a double batch has been fun. And I wonder is this what it is normally like? Maybe my kids will get cookies more often? I am sure they would like that.

And thanks to this recipe and Beth for showing me the light my family now has a full cookie jar with over five dozen delicious cookies with the best chocolate chips I can find. The carmel chocolate swirls by Nestle. I was proud I didn't just eat a bag of them like normal I made them into cookies. And maybe now I will make cookies more than four times a year.

We Surround Them!

I am so excited for THIS tonight. I know I have been more politically minded on my blog lately.. and also with those I talk to. But I feel the need to be even more aware of things that are going on and to be up to date on all of the current events. Especially when it comes to my freedoms, the Constitution. And this Country that I love. I believe our Founding Father's were truly inspired by God to organize this country in a way that would allow men and women freedoms and liberties. And that the government was there to work for us, not us work for them.

Tonight I will watch Glenn Beck. I believe in these 9 Principles.

1. America is good.
2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.
3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.
4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.
5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.
6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.
7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.
8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.
9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.

And I believe in these 12 Values
Honesty
Reverence
Hope
Thrift
Humility
Charity
Sincerity
Moderation
Hard Work
Courage
Personal Responsibility
Gratitude

If you believe these things please tune into Glenn Beck. He is on Fox News today 5:00 Eastern Time. If you aren't home TiVo it. Tell those you know. And if you don't have it call one of your friends that does.

And I can't promise I won't have more to say about politics. I believe in our Country. And I believe no matter what party you are part of we all want a nation with better values and morals.

Shh... it's a secret

A BIG secret! And I don't know who is going to be more excited me.. or my children. We are going to go to Church on a beautiful Sunday in May, come home, eat lunch, and then jet off to Orlando for a week. And we aren't telling them any of the details. We will pack their stuff and be as discreet as possible. And then we will be off for a week of fun and family time in Disney World. We are excited and I cannot wait for their reactions when they realize we are going to spend a whole week at the happiest place on earth. As long as no one spills the beans my dream for last 4 years will happen. I can't wait! And even better we get to meet my fantastic brother and his family there for one day.

Tornado Watch 2009 #1

Today I was looking at the weather forecast like I always do, and it said there was a possible tornado today. Exciting huh? I casually mentioned it to Randy, and scoffed at the idea, we aren't getting a tornado today. My kids overheard our conversation and are now on tornado watch, and that is the ONLY thing they can talk about.

Things they have said or done.

They are currently running around with umbrellas at the current moment waiting for the breeze to pick up so they can fly away with the tornado.

Each child is now in charge of watching one door to see if it is coming. (Obviously we only have two doors that go directly outside. Good thing.. we don't have enough kids.)

Any slight change in breeze they are sure a tornado is coming.. or as Little Miss says the Twister is coming.

Little Man really wants to see a tornado. But he doesn't want it to blow away our home. We would lose all of our money then.

Little Man has been explaining to me that "it takes a little while to Breeze up in Indiana. Once it breezes up we will get a tornado. But if there is a tornado our house will fly off the ground and be spinning, and we will be in a new place where we don't know anyone."

The kids are anxiously awaiting the tornado.. and want to see it.

Little Miss is sure that we could move back by Grandma if the twister came.

Little Man is currently leaving a message on Grandma and Grandpa's answering machine that will probably alarm them. This is what they will hear. "Hello Grandma and Grandpa. It's me, Little Man. We have a chance of getting a tornado.. I am sure we will. But I said a prayer that we wouldn't. But I am pretty scared we are going to get one. And if we do it will scare me. Okay. Bye." Awesome message to get when you get home from Church. He knows how to guarantee a call back from them today. (Smart boy.)

We have tried to explain that we aren't going to have one today. The sirens aren't on. We aren't on a watch.. we just happened to see there was a chance of a tornado today. But I am sure this won't be the end of Tornado Watch 2009.

Real Quick

A little promo on my photography. If you are thinking of booking a session act fast. My big package, the one everyone wants is on sale for the next ten clients that book only. Instead of $500, the next ten people will get it for half off. Tell your friends. Email me at photographybyleeann@gmail.com and book your session today.

And now back to your regularly scheduled day.

Best Buds

Lately my kids have decided that they want to get along better. This makes me happy. Them happy. Randy happy. It is good all around. It isn't that they get along poorly, but better is nice.

Little Man wants to help Little Miss in the night when she has a bad dream. He has offered up his room for a place for her to come to for comfort. More than once I have found her snuggled up in his bed happy as a clam. And he is loving that she needs his protection, and takes his job quite seriously.

Little Miss and Little Man have been trying to quit hitting each other. This makes me happy. I know some parents don't have children that hit each other at age 7 and 5 that hit each other, but let's keep it real. Mine do. Such is life. Once they can go a whole month without hitting they each get a really cool kite. Some days they are fantastic at this. Other days.. well, let's just say Randy and I might be flying the cool kites all by ourselves.

While driving the other day they were deeply involved in conversation, and when I went to add I was informed that Little Miss was not talking to me. She was talking to her Big Brother. I remember things like this with my brother. And those memories still make me smile.

Little Miss had a girl on the bus who wasn't being very nice to her. Little Man was quite upset when he found out and promised her over and over he would take care of it. And he did. He immediately informed the bus driver that his sister was not being treated kindly, and she needed to be moved. She could even sit by him, that would be just fine. Little was promptly moved, but sitting with another sweet girl. Little Man is okay with that, but informs me he is keeping an eye on her.

These two each day are becoming closer. Becoming better friends. And each day my heart swells a little more. How did I get so lucky?

Create

I loved President Uchtdorf's talk when I heard it. And today watching this. Listening to this, I love this more. I am a Mom that struggles with my balance. I want to do everything I can to play with my kids, to be the Mom they remember and love and want to be like. I want to be the Mom that plays with her kids. Makes fun treats. Takes time to listen to them.

I also want to be the Mom who creates beautiful images. Who paints pictures. Who embraces the arts that I love. Balance is hard for me. I struggle to keep a proper balance of my creations, and being the Mom I want to be. This simple video reminds me that it is okay to create. My photography is a gift from my Heavenly Father and it is a talent that I can embrace and do. As I create I teach my kids also.

I am often one who says I am not crafty. I don't feel creative. But when I look at things like art, I love art in all aspects. But I love to create art above all us. And I love to sew. I love to make fun new foods. I realize I do like to create. And my children are my best creation to date. President's Uchtdorf's simple message is one that helps me to remember it is okay. My creations are part of who I am. And balancing along the way. I do my best.

Me Vs. The Scale

I have a love hate relationship with the scale. Mostly I hate it. I have this NUMBER. This magic number that I think I should weigh. Do I weigh it? No. Have I weighed it in years? No.

Randy recently said to me that my relationship with the scale determines my day I am going to have. I scoffed at that this. Whatever Randy. I am so not that worried about it. And then I started to watch myself. And as the numbers went lower I was more excited. I walked with an extra spring in my step. My hard work was paying off. And soon I would be at my magic number. It was going to happen. And then one evening I weighed and was excited at how low my number was, and was even more excited that tomorrow I would be much lighter. I called Randy in to show him and I stepped on the scale and it went up nearly 5lbs in that instant.

I pondered how did this happen? I didn't magically gain all of this weight in one minute. It wasn't possible. The next morning it stayed true to the almost 5lb weight gain. And guess what my mood was like? I was irritated. I was upset that my hard work was gone in an instant. The numbers were higher and I was not within pounds of my goal. The scale had robbed me of my hard work. Randy found he was nearly five pounds heavier also.. hmpf.. at least it wasn't just me. I pondered had my scale just been going lower and lower as an error? Was I in fact not changing my body with all of my hard work? What was I doing wrong? How did this happen? And what was I going to do about it.

Darn Randy and him being right. I thought on this more. And I know in 1 minute I didn't go up five pounds. I know that. But darn if it didn't drive me crazy. I started a new workout regimen nearly 4 weeks ago. And when I started I decided I was going to take weekly pictures of me in my swimsuit. And finally this week after my scale battle I pulled them off of my card and looked at them. And to my surprise the difference from the first day, until the end of week 3 was quite noticeable. Things were tighter. Things weren't as squishy. I didn't sag as much. The dimples were less, and my body looks like I do in fact weigh what it said I weighed and then reneged on. And I keep reminding myself and looking at the pictures it doesn't matter what the scale says. It doesn't. Because pictures don't lie. I am smaller than I was. I am less squishy than I have been. I have muscle in places I wasn't sure I could have muscle in anymore. And I am in better shape.

I still have my scale. But I think it is a liar. I will continue to keep taking my weekly pictures to see progress. Seeing progress motivates me to try harder. And today I am determined to let the scale rule me less. To have a better outlook. To see my body in a healthier better way. Instead of seeing my flaws, look for the good. Sadly lately I have only seen the things I do not like about my body. And I don't like that. This is one of my struggles in life. To see my body and be okay with it. Sometimes I do better. Sometimes I do worse. Today I am recommitting to do better, to have a better out look. For me. For my Daughter. For my Son. For my Husband. For my Heavenly Father.

And with that I am issuing a challenge blog about one of your battles. Link a comment back here for others to see. Our challenges we face whether big or small make us who we are. They change how we see others, how we see ourselves, how we view the world. Today I am determined to only say nice things about myself. Because if I don't like me, who will?

More Good News

In 5 weeks from tomorrow my kids and I will board an airplane. And we will fly across the country, home to Washington for eight wonderful days. We are excited to go home. To see our family. To see our friends. And just be home.

While we are home I will take a few photo shoots. I will be there March 31-April 8. If you are interested in a shoot either leave a comment, or send me a email and you can get all of the info on my Special for you.

I am anxious to come home. We are counting down the days.

Happy Monday.

Thankful

Today I am thankful. Thankful for prayers, love, concern, kindness, and all of our wonderful friends and family who support us.

Today we still have a job. We made it through, and life will continue on, and we are very thankful.

Today

I am feeling hopeful. Our date for the job announcement has been moved to Monday. 9:45AM EST to be exact. And since I like to be more correct I have to put it to the exact time. We will be waiting by the phone for the call to find out if we still have a job. Three days to go. I can do this.

I am feeling happy. It is Friday. It has been a great week, and I am excited for the weekend. We are puppy-sitting a little beagle. The kids are thrilled. We are going to a gymnastics competition to watch the great gymnasts. (Not our gymnast.)

I am feeling strong. I have been doing a great Jillin Michaels workout for nearly three weeks and I feel great. I am stronger, and I am enjoying my workouts.

I am feeling the need to buck up. I too often get caught up in what is wrong with me.. my body.. blah blah blah. It's stupid. And I am committing to do better. For me. For Randy. For Little Man, and Little Miss. I can do this.

And lastly I am feeling hungry. I am celebrating a friends birthday tonight with delicious ice cream cupcakes from Coldstone. I am anticipating eating said goodness.

Happy Friday.

My Valentine

A few reasons why I love my Valentine:

1. He makes me laugh.
2. He loves me.
3. He makes me feel better about myself everyday.
4. He is my best friend.
5. He is every bit as good as he thinks he is. (And that's pretty good, just ask him.)
6. He puts up with my craziness.
7. He completes me.
8. He is my best friend.
9. He works hard to support us.
10. He chose me.

Happy Valentine's Day. I love you more each day.

Ready for the Party

Today my kids had their Valentine's Parties at school. They were thrilled. I didn't catch a picture of the two of them together, but I did happen to get them individually. The kids each had clothes picked out for today making sure they were wearing at least some red.

The parties were awesome. They received several Valentine's. And Little Man even received some from friends and family from around the nation. Thanks to all who participated in his surprise. He loved it. He even got a Valentine from his best buddy from Kindergarten back in Washington. Little Miss was most excited about her outfit. Red and pink. Her favorite colors. Hearts. Her favorite shape. Sparkles. Her everyday necessity. She helped to choose her clothes, and I was more than happy to oblige.

The kids are anxiously awaiting tomorrow hoping that Mom and Dad shower them with Valentine's. Maybe they will get delicious pancakes in heart shapes, or at least tinted pink. Maybe. And really the purpose behind this post. To show my kids. Because I don't do it enough.

First 5

So I got this from my friend's blog, I think it's such a great idea and can't wait to do it.
{Lucky you!}

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.
This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2- What I create will be just for you.
3- It'll be done this year.
4- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be photography or an article on properly cleaning your face before a masque. I may sew or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
5- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me! Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!}