It's late. I stink and I desperately need a shower. I just got home from a late night run, hoping it would be less humid. It wasn't, in fact I think it was more humid.. we have a storm rolling in. I run with my iPod, and it helps to pass the time and make the run seem less daunting and more doable. (It's crazy to think that 6 weeks ago, I wasn't a runner at all. Not that I really call myself a runner now... I am more of a wannabe.) Anyway.. back to my rambling. Today 13 minutes or so into my run my iPod quit. It said it was playing but no sound was coming out and so I ran with my friend listening to the pounding of the pavement, the breathing, and to all of the thoughts going on in my brain.
Right now I am pondering how to be a better mother. I read this talk today searching for answers that I feel right now I desperately need. There are answers in there that have been going through my head since I read this today. "There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children....What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else. " -Elder Ballard. This part of the talk was good answer, and I have mulled it over in my brain. It feels like an answer that I have needed. And this one, "First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction." These are the things I needed to hear today. And my iPod turning off ended up being a blessing. I was able to think clear my head and ponder what I should do to be a better Mother, and the Mother I want to be. To be the type of Mother my Mother was for me.
I also pondered the Second Coming of our Savior Jesus Christ. It has been on my mind. It seems like the world is getting more wicked and things are happening more and more. I wonder are we prepared? Am I doing the things I need to do to be prepared for that day? Is it closer than I would like to think? Because sometimes I think it could be. I have often thought I don't want to live when the world is THAT wicked, but the Devil is reigning over the Earth, it is THAT wicked now. And I am making it through each day. Maybe that is why Mothering is weighing so heavily on me right now. I feel like I have a enormous battle to fight, and I am ready to kick the crap out of Satan.
And I am sitting here, letting my battery die so my iPod will work another day.. but I am glad I had sometime to think and run. To ponder answers I have, and think more on questions I still have, and realize what I have to do.
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7 comments:
great post I feel that same urgency and weght
Thanks for posting that. I'm not back to blogging, but I'm glad I checked in (to see pics of my new niece...she so cute and round!) and decided to read yours. I hope your day was better yesterday and I hope today is good, too!
Did you know you're coming in 5 days? Yea, you probably did! :)
Reading this was a great way to start my day.
Thank you!
Yay for broken ipods, it's nice that you can see the blessing in that and embrace "thinking time." Great post!
I love running with no music because I love the opportunity to think and ponder. We just don't get enough quiet time anymore.
The quiet pondering and oneness of nature used to be some of my favorite things about running. I wish I had better trails so I could enjoy that once more. I should work on having that even now, but it is harder for me to feel that while in neighborhoods and with friends, I talk to much :).
I gave the RS lesson on that article last month. That was my favorite part, too, that there is no one perfect way to be a mother. Everyone's situation is different, with different strengths and weaknesses. Good luck on your running! You look good!
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