Blessings

Sometimes.. okay.. MOST of the time life doesn't go as planned. The neat little box that we packaged our life in, in our mind is rarely the way life goes. We are thrown curve balls. Things change and we have to adjust and change our course to adapt to these new changes. I sit here in my parents basement and contemplate the changes in my life over the last several years. And while my life has not went as I planned. I am feeling immensely grateful tonight.

Moving to Indiana was hard. I missed my family and my home. But I met great friends. I had wonderful neighbors who became a part of my daily life. And we were so immensely blessed by the people we met there, and by the experiences our own little family had there. I had someone ask me why I thought we went there if we were just going to move again two years later. I don't have the answer. But I know it was the right thing for our family. I loved Randy before we went there. I have multiplied that by one million after living there. I didn't know it was possible. Our family benefited from it in ways I couldn't even imagine. And I see the many blessings. I met people I will always call a friend and I will always love there. I had one of the hardest battles with my health. And I learned. The Lord is always aware of us. Even when we feel invisible to Him, He knows what we need more than we do.

Moving away from Indiana is hard. I miss my friends. I miss my home. I miss my RANDY. I didn't know it would feel so hard moving away. But leaving people I love is always hard. I am grateful for the blessings we have had since moving. My breathing is like a million times better and improving daily. That is huge for me. My kids are grateful for a functional Mom again. I am grateful for going all day today without using my inhaler once. Randy will be joining us in twelve days. I cannot wait. And he isn't going back to Indiana. He has a job here! What a blessing for our family, to be together.

I have heard of trials and heartache so much lately. And I am grateful for a Heavenly Father who loves ME, and knows ME. He blesses me with what I need, even when I am sure I do not need it. He blesses me with trials that with Him I can do. And when I look at those who are suffering much harder trials I am reminded of the blessings I have. To be grateful for what I have and trust in Him. His plan is right. Even when it is hard.

Home

Is going to be here, in Washington. Right where we are right now. Randy will get here on the 9th of April, and I cannot wait. Prayers have been answered and we are feeling very blessed and also very guided by the Lord. Now sell house.. sell!!

Better.. but not.

Did you know that it is possible to feel a ton better, but not at the same time? It is. For the last let's say 10 months or so I have felt like junk day in and day out. I don't think I realized how badly I felt until now. Life becomes normal and you adjust to that new normal. And you forget how good the old good felt. It slips away and you don't remember it anymore.

I was thinking today as I was running down a driveway that I love and breathing in the fresh spring air how different life felt at the moment, and how very normal my life felt. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed just being outside and doing little things like running down a drive way. Taking a long walk and talking the whole time. Carrying multiple loads of laundry up and down the stairs. Laughing without coughing. Not using my inhaler at least hourly, well above the amount prescribed. Living life and enjoying it. Not just getting by. I forgot how good it felt to be normal and to not think about breathing. I forgot how good it felt to be me.

I am so much better.. but not. My health has improved leaps and bounds. I am so very grateful to my Heavenly Father for this blessing, and I am grateful for a husband who realized the necessity of this hardship in our life. But I miss him. I miss waking up next to him with his arms wrapped around me. I miss the playful poking. I miss his comforting hugs that always assure me it will be okay. I miss his smile. I miss his laughter. I miss his eyes which see deep into my soul. I miss our lunch time together. I miss our Friday afternoon dates, although those have been pretty lame thanks to me, they normally consisted of just hanging out at home together. I miss snuggling while watching TV. I miss our talks lying in bed late at night. I just miss him. I miss his smell. I miss my Randy. It's only been one week, and I have to keep doing this. What is good and right doesn't always equal easy or fun. Right now it is hard and lonely. No one can make up for the spot Randy has in my heart. He trumps them all.

But breathing easier is a blessing that I am so very grateful for. I feel more me than I have in a very long time. It doesn't take everything I have to get the necessities done during the day. I have energy and the breathing capacity to play outside with my kids. To be the Mom I want to always be. To be the person I want to be. And to be the wife I want to be. I have learned how vital my breathing really is for me and my well being. (Okay so it is to everyone, not just me.) But I can really see the difference. I didn't realize how much I had changed and let my stupid asthma control and define my life. I hate that. And I don't want it to be what rules my life. I am grateful for the dry desert climate. It was made for me.

Here

Only 11 days after my last blog post am I finally surfacing and waving my hands frantically to acknowledge I am here. Driving across the country was an adventure. I took pictures, but my computer is still in the box, and I am too lazy to plug it in. So I am blogging from my parents and I don't feel like uploading pictures on to here right now. Maybe those will come later. Maybe not.

Friday March 5th we got up, packed the last minute things and hit the road with donuts and juice. I managed to hold it together as we drove away. I had done my fair share of blubbering the night before I guess. It was a very surreal thing to leave Indy. I didn't realize how much it was home to me, and how weird it really would be to leave it. Maybe it wouldn't have felt so hard if my best friend was moving with me, but he wasn't. At least not yet. We managed to drive for fourteen hours, and made it half way though Nebraska. The drive was uneventful, and time felt like it was flying by.

On Saturday we left Nebraska and drove the rest of the way to Utah. Let's just say this about Wyoming.. if you have ever run on a treadmill and you hate it the whole time, don't drive through Wyoming. It is like a really really bad treadmill that you can't get off of. I was so over the drive, and it seemed to go on, and on, and on. We were so happy to pull into the State of Utah!! The mountains, the familiar scenery, it finally started to feel like we were making progress. We made it down the mountain, stopped at Cafe Rio for food, and then went to Randy's Grandma's house.

This is where our trip got interesting. We pulled into Grandma's house and Randy is backing our van and trailer up and he hears a Gug-gug-gug sound. Lovely right? It always warms my heart when cars make noises that they shouldn't. Realization set in that our Dodge Grand Caravan was going through Transmission #2. The last one was put in 16,000 miles ago. And the stupid van only has 76,000 miles on it. We were grateful for the tender mercy of it stopping in the driveway, not in Wyoming on the bad treadmill. We felt blessed. My initial reaction was laughter. A lot of laughter. It didn't really stop either. We prayed over our Cafe Rio and I prayed for it to be stolen.. yep that's right I prayed for someone to steal my van. (It didn't happen in case you were wondering.) And I laughed. My friend Kelli thankfully was there laughing right along with me. I am not sure how that night would have went without her, and I am grateful for my 'twin' keeping me laughing.

Sunday we stayed in Utah. Remember the van was broken. Thankfully Randy's cousin Kevin and his wife Rachel and there family welcomed us into their home. Thank you!! We were blessed with laughter, friendship, and great food.

Monday we stayed in Utah. The van was finally in the shop with a really broken transmission. We went to Temple Square and visited with family. And Randy's Grandma kindly offered to allow us to take her pickup the rest of the way. Thank you Grandma.

Tuesday morning we left. And our adventure continued. Not long after getting on the 215 our trailer unhitched itself. Yep, you read that right, our trailer was unhitched going down the freeway. Thankfully my husband is a smart man and chained the trailer also to our pickup like you should, and so the trailer stayed with the pickup. But the trailer looked like a bucking bronco. It was the craziest, scariest, funniest thing I have ever seen. Too bad we didn't get that on video. We stopped and the trailer stopped and nothing was damaged, and we counted our blessings.

We continued on our way and it was raining. We watched the rain turn to snow, and ice. The roads went from wet, to slush, to snow, ice and slush. It was another adventure. A pickup passed us and flew off the road right after passing us. We felt blessed that we were safe. Eventually we were out of the poor weather and driving the rest of the way home. We arrived safely. That night we said many prayers of gratitude for our safety, for the trailer and the pickups safety and that while it wasn't the easiest road we traveled we were safe.

The kids are enrolled in school. The dogs (did I mention the dogs were with us this whole trip, because they were) survived. The weather has been gorgeous. My pulmonary functions have jumped to a normal range for the first time in over a year! We have been blessed to have an abundance of family welcoming us. We have many friends we have yet to see, we will soon! We are adjusting. But I am missing my best friend. Randy left yesterday back to Indiana. It hurt to have him fly away. But I know it is short. The Lord has a plan. We just have to wait. We're here.

Time to go

I should be gathering things and getting everything ready. But instead here I sit. Thinking. Freaking out. Not feeling ready. But knowing it is time. I remember the first time I came to Indy. I wasn't sure what I thought. I was excited, but so scared of moving here. And here I am moving back home and I feel those same feelings. I am sad to leave. I have so many wonderful friends and I am so sad to say good bye to them. Thankfully we have Facebook and email to keep in touch. But I am really going to miss everyone here. I have been blessed to make so many wonderful friends here.

Today I need to pick up the trailer. Pack the stuff to go to my parents house. (That's right I still haven't packed any of that.) Get all the laundry done. Make sure my home is ready to sell in a second. Have everything tidy and make sure that it will be simple for Randy to keep up easily. And I want to have lunch with friends. And my husband needs to come home from Chicago, that's right he has been gone since Tuesday. We are leaving in the morning and my list seems like it might take until morning. I am still trying to get all my base boards washed in my home. We'll see if I get that all done or leave that for Randy. Or anyone who is just bored.

Indiana.. it's a love hate thing. Love the people. Love the area. Hate the allergies.

5 Days

Today was a hard one. On the way to Church I was teary, I realized today was the last time that Randy, the kids and I would all be attending our home ward together for who knows how long. Next week we will be in Salt Lake City for Church, and then the next week I will be in WA, and he will be flying home. It made me sad. I think it set the tone for the day.

I was released from the organ. The Bishop told me, and as soon as he did I burst into tears. I hate doing that but I was on the verge already. And then I had people talk to me after Sunday School and before Relief Society started. Let's just say I cried through the opening hymn of Relief Society. I hadn't had the chance to tell everyone before that we were leaving, and so it was a shocker for some. And I looked around this Ward I have only been attending since September and I felt such a sadness to leave it. I always say a Ward is a Ward. But this one it's a real good one. Different than many I have been in. There is something about it that makes me so sad to leave it. Maybe it is because Randy is staying in it and I am not. It made me cry to leave. It was hard to say goodbye to so many people that we love. We only see them on Sunday but they have touched our lives for good. It broke my heart when my friend Nikki hugged me and cried as hard as I was crying. I hate crying but it always helps when you aren't alone in it. Makes me feel less crazy at least. My eyes hurt after Church. I hate that feeling too. I left Church feeling loved and knowing it would be okay. And knowing I was leaving behind great people.

My neighbors have vowed to see me as much as they can these next five days. We chatted today and I told them we weren't talking about this week. I was over crying and my eyes still hurt. Things I have realized I am good talking to my friends and people until I know it is the last time I am going to see them. The last time breaks my heart. If you don't want to see me cry, don't let me know it is the last time before I move.

I am feeling very optimistic tonight. I am grateful for friends who hug me and tell me I am doing the right thing and show their confidence in me. I need it right now. Because as much as I know that, it is still hard. And my friends getting that we have to do this helps so much. This isn't the path we would choose, but we don't always get to choose our paths in life.

Reality

This morning reality is setting in. I am leaving here. My kids are going with me. And Randy is going to continue to live here. I bought his one way plane ticket back here and it made me want to throw up. I hate the thought of him being here and me being there. It isn't the way life is supposed to be. And I feel selfish for choosing breathing. I know it is right but Randy is my better half. Without him I am not complete. And my kids. I worry so much about how this is going to effect them. I love just being our little family. I love our quiet evenings together being silly and having fun. I love the quiet moments Randy and I have after the children are sleeping tight in their beds. I love listening to him read them bedtime stories. I love my life. And I hate that it is changing for an unknown time.

I do know this is right. And what is right isn't always easy. But we do what is right, no matter how hard. And we trust in the Lord that He has a marvelous plan. We pray in faith for this plan to come quickly. My heart tells me it will all be okay. And I know it. I believe it. It doesn't mean that I won't miss the love of my life with every fiber of my being. What an adventure.

10 days.. and counting

I swear my life is so whirlwind. And since I started blogging way back in 2006, I have moved our of three houses, well this will be the third. That is crazy! And we have had to sell every single one of them. And thankfully it has always worked out in our favor. Seriously though, are you ready for me to get settled? Because I am. And I have no clue where home is going to be! How crazy is that?

My kids want a place to call home, and they are so over moving. I want a place to call home and put down roots. I blame my parents and Randy's that we move so often. For the first 15 1/2 years of my life I lived in the same house, in the same bedroom and my life was constant. And then we moved. And I haven't stayed in the same place for more than 2 years. If you do the math, the first HALF of my life I lived in the same place, same bedroom, same everything. The second HALF of my life I have moved every other year, if not more often. See my parents uprooted me and now I can't stay put. Their fault, not mine. Randy grew up Navy, enough said. There is something inside of me that wants to give my kids a home. They want it. I want it. Randy wants it. We are ready. At least I think we are.

It is hard to believe that in 10 days my Indiana journey will be over. That my kids and I will be leaving this state, and honestly I never ever plan to step foot in this Allergy ____ again. (Fill in the blank!) Love the people, hate that allergies. Love the area, hate the allergies. It's not the state it's the air quality and all this darn green stuff everywhere. Seriously, I am so over green. Wait I derailed my thought track. I don't feel ready to leave. The hardest thing for me is leaving behind my friends. Thankfully this wonderful thing called the Internet was invented and we can keep in touch. But I will miss running over to Emily's almost every morning in my morning garb of NYPD sweatshirt, or WSU if we are really snazzy, some random pair of pajama pants that may or may not match, my hair standing on end, mascara smeared on my face, a down coat on and my CUggs (Costco Uggs). I will miss chatting with Jena and Emily and their surprise when I am actually ready in the morning. Thankfully they love me no matter how crazy I look in the mornings, really I could be on the people of Wal-Mart. I will miss my many, many, many friends from Church. I could name them, but I would leave someone out, and then they would think I didn't like them. And well, that's mean. But I am realizing it is going to be so hard to see everyone. And I really want to.

Ten days. That sounds so short. Am I ready? No. But yes. Breathing normally again. I can't wait! I was at the mall today, and had to go to the bathroom super bad, and I couldn't find one. I finally found a map, and stared it until I found the YOU ARE HERE sticker. And I saw where the bathroom was, Macy's, I could totally walk there. So I walked, and I didn't talk on the phone or to anyone, (that takes a lot of air when you are running on 50% in case you were wondering) but by the time I walked to Macy's and found the bathroom I could hardly catch my breath and I was wheezing horribly. I wish I could say this wasn't normal. But it is. I used my inhaler and decided before I made that L-O-N-G (read really not long, pathetically short) walk again I would shop to let my lungs rest a little bit. It helped I came out of there with a new shirt and I walked even slower out of the store through the mall and to my car. I won't miss that. I am ready to breathe. But I am not ready to say good-bye.

Leaping

Sometimes in life we have to leap. And we don't always know the outcome of our leap. But we go blindly and with faith. Sometimes the leaps are little and sometimes they feel huge. And eventually we land or a parachute catches us after our leap. You never know when it is going to come but you hope and pray that your safety net is there quickly.

In thirteen days my children and I are packing up the van with clothes, favorite toys and the dogs and driving cross country. We are leaving Indiana. We are going back to Washington State. Randy will drive with us, and then fly back until we can figure out where he will transfer to. But Indiana and I don't get along to well. It tries to kill me and my body is fighting back.. but the fight is getting much harder and more than I can always do. My lungs are tired. My body is tired and my heart hurts that I am leaving my best friend here while I go to safety. But breathing is important. And we are doing what we have to do right now. Hard choices.

We have a whole lot of unknown. I am grateful for my parents welcoming us to their home. And grateful for many more family members and friends who will welcome us too. We don't have a lot of answers and all of the details right now. But we know that we are doing what we are supposed to be.

Today I have boxed up toys and things that aren't necessary right now. We have cleaned and organized. Replaced light fixtures and changed out faucets. Our home is for sale. And we have no idea where our next home will be. I am filled with so many mixed emotions. I have fantastic friends who I love dearly here. And the thought of moving far away makes me sad. But I know it is right.

We are leaping. We are taking a huge leap of faith and trusting in our Heavenly Father that He will help us land safely. My heart is filled with many emotions. I have fought back tears today realizing what is really happening in our life. And I have been blessed with the most amazing peace ever. We know this is right. But what is right isn't always easy. We have faith that the Lord will bless us as we trust in Him. And we are praying daily for the right plan to work out. We're leaping. A big giant leap.

Day 502 of Snow

The snow is still coming. It has been a very, very, very long time since all of the ground was clear of this white stuff. At first it brought excitement. We were joyful. But slowly our joy has wained. The cold is overpowering any joy we felt. The slick roads are detouring any desire to go anywhere. The snow is overrated.

I always love the look of fresh snow. But let me tell you, old snow, not so hot. At the end of our driveway, someone let their dog take a big old poop in the snow. And they left it! Seriously big big dog poopy, did they not see it sitting there? We sure did. Gross. The yellow pee all over the snowbanks at the end of the driveway, gross. That is not what I want to see. I have dogs, I get that they go to the bathroom. But thankfully my dogs choose an area in the back where it isn't visible to all at all times. Right now my driveway looks like a doggy outhouse. If I only we could go and return the favor. And by that I mean my dogs, not we as in people. But I don't have that much energy, so instead I will blog about it. And I will spare you pictures. I don't even want to see pictures of that. GROSS!

Day 502. We are over it.

My Valentine!

A few things I love about Randy!

He is an awesome Dad. He went to Lego World with Little Man and took Little Miss to American Girl, willingly!

He is a hard worker.

He is a great provider for our family.

He is faithful to his convictions, and a righteous Priesthood holder.

He never points out my flaws, and trust me there are plenty.

He laughs at my stupid humor.

He never makes me feel like my health issues are a burden.

He loves me for me.

He is my best friend ever.

I am blessed he picked me to spend forever with.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happiness is:

My husband who loves me. More than I could ever imagine.

My children who squeeze me and whisper I am the best Mom ever. Even when I am not.

Friends who love me and listen to me. They teach me how to be a better friend.

Knowing my loving Heavenly Father has a plan for me. Even when I don't really get it.

Is realizing that my 'dumb dog' is barking for a reason. She wanted her other 'dumb friend' to come back home.

Laughing until you cry. And allowing the tears to come.

Happiness is a Mission, I am always on. To be happy. To find joy. To see the blessings in my life. I am blessed more than I deserve. My Mission is to find the happiness and the joy. Be on the look out for more happy things.

Spring is here.

It's ironic I would say that after blogging about our snow day. Which we have a little bit more than we did yesterday. However it is true. Just ask my watery eyes, my runny nose, my sneezing self. Spring is here. The trees are showing new growth. Some plants have small buds where they are growing and will shoot out leaves. In just a few weeks this cold will be gone. And Spring will be in full force. Love Spring. Hate my Allergies.

Snow Day 2010

Today is a snow day. School is cancelled, though I don't think we had near enough snow to cancel school. But I am enjoying having my kids home nonetheless. We are enjoying a lazy day. It is almost 5:00 and my kids have not changed out of their jammies, they are happy and enjoying a day snuggled up warm in our home.

Little Miss is happy to watch her older brother play Super Mario on Wii, and snuggle with her cat Cinderella, she has been freshly washed, and is bright white again!!

Little Man is focused. He wants to get 100 guys. He is determined and enjoying a day of Wii and relaxing.
Little Man is so happy today. He decided he could pause for me and show me his smile. And I have to say while it is snowing today the light is wonderful. The bright white snow is great for reflecting and helping the to look great. I am loving it.

Little Miss is always ready to jump in and smile. She is enjoying our snuggle time and spending time together. Our snow day is fun and lazy. We aren't going outside and playing in it. Something to do with it being cold and my crazy lungs that lock up in this cold.

More like Him.

I have been pondering in my life how I can be better. What I can do to improve myself, and who I am. I have thought of things I do and say and I wonder do my actions show that I want to be like Him. I hope they do. But I know they don't always.

I have been reading Sheri Dew's book, 'If Life were Easy, it wouldn't be Hard' I love it. I have read it before but I enjoy reading it again. Slowly. Taking it in. And last night I came across a paragraph that I had heard before, read before and loved before. And I have to share it.

"So on those days when we're not ready to stop being offended about something, not ready to forgive someone, still determined to give the silent treatment, and so on, what we're actually saying is,'Wait! I don't want to be more like the Savior today. Maybe tomorrow when I'm able to let go of some irritation or injustice.'"

I love this. I love the simple truths. If I am a more charitable person I can be more like the Savior. And it comes down to if I want to be a better person I need to be more charitable. Be more like Him. That is the attribute the describes Him the best, charity. I work to have charity for those around me. For my children when I am lacking in patience with them. When they are being unpleasant, I try to remember to see them as He sees them, and not to react in a way that will leave me feeling worse.

I read a blog today of a mother who recently gave birth to a sweet little girl who has down syndrome. It brought back the day when my sister was born over 13 years ago. I saw a beautiful and perfect sister. A girl I had prayed for since I was very little. A girl I loved more than any girl could love a sister. I was bonded to her instantly. That girl loves like no other, and she has charity for all those around her. She is an example of living like Him.

I want to be more patient. More understanding. I have come to truly see how you can never know what all is going on in someones life until you have walked in their shoes for a very long time. How grateful I am for my Savior who knows me individually. And for the charity He shows to me. It helps me to be more charitable towards myself. I believe we as women should be more charitable towards ourselves. I think often we beat ourselves up for the imperfections we have. We see our glaring flaws, and He sees how wonderful we truly are, the daughters of God that we are.

I want to be more like Him.

Tick, tick, tick..

The metronome.. tick.tick.tick.tick.tick.tick.tick

For me it a love hate relationship. For years I have hated it. Loathed it. Despised it. For years I refused to own one. Although since I am a pianist and have played since I was 4 I should have such a strong aversion to them. I used to cry when my Mom would make me play with it. I would play crazy in spite of it. It drove me crazy. I didn't see how it worked, I couldn't count 1 and 2 and 3 and a 4, play the right notes, listen to the metronome and stay sane at the same time. I would get mad and think it was all wrong. I have hated that blasted thing. My piano teacher would beat the piano with a pencil. I could tolerate that only slightly more. I have always despised it. I didn't see the point and I was sure I could do it fine without it.

Something happened over the past couple of years. And finally this year I asked for a metronome for Christmas, (I had just been told I was being called as ward organist). But I didn't want just a plain black box I wanted one like I grew up with. One that moved. I had gotten used to the feeling of swaying with it over my adult years after several tears and silent curses on the blasted thing. I slowly would watch it move and feel the movement and the beat would stay in me. I would play the music as the composer intended instead of the way I believed it should be written. I learned to use it properly. Randy surprised me with this beautiful metronome that matches my piano for Christmas. And it is used often. And as I use it I sway and I feel the beat and I play my music correctly. After sitting for hours at the piano each week preparing the music for each Sunday to play it correctly I am extremely grateful for this gift. My metronome is one of my favorite gifts I have ever received. I find it ironic. And each time I wind it after it has wound down I giggle at myself and my hate of the metronome.

Beauty Rest

I love checking on my children late at night after they have been sleeping for hours. This one is always uncovered and sprawled out taking up as much of her big bed as she can. (I think she gets that from me.)

When my parents were here my Dad left this kit and it had a sleeping mask in it. Little Man wore it once but wasn't so fond of it. Little Miss however wears it quite often. And I find it HILARIOUS! I always cover her up again when I go to bed and almost always she will sit up and smile at me and lay back down. When she wears the mask she sits up and whacks her face and tries to get it off and then lays back down and pulls it back on. I have to hold in my giggles. And last night I decided that she probably wouldn't notice if I took her picture. So I did. And she slept through it. And I giggled and giggled. I love this girl!

Eating Crow

A long time ago I voiced my dislike for Michael Buble. I will be honest I hate when everyone has to love the same thing, and be into it. I don't want to be a lemming, and when I feel pressured to like it because everyone likes it and it is cool I tend to push the other way. I like to form my own opinions and do my own things. Always have. Call it stubborn, independent, or just Lee. I like to march to my own drum. It makes me happy. I think that is part of the reason I have embraced my curls even more when everyone was wanting to straighten theirs even more.

So after several years I downloaded a few of his songs on iTunes. I am enjoying the select few I downloaded. Crazy huh? I heard a song on the radio and I loved it, so I had to figure out who it was.. turns out it was Michael. I guess I can like him if I discover that I like him on my own. At least a few songs.

Six Years Ago..

My baby was seven months old. And she is still as happy as she was then. I miss this stage.
My little boy had just turned two. He is still always up to something. I miss this stage.
My kids are growing up faster than I would like to accept. Today I am pondering am I embracing their childhood enough? Because these pictures feel like yesterday. And this morning they are both off at school for the day, they aren't little like this. They are brave, independent children.

Our life has taken some definite changes that I never expected to see in the past six year. I never imagined that when Little Miss was born she would be the baby forever. I never imagined that we would move so much. I never imagined that my children would bring me so much joy, and that they time would feel like it was going by at lightning speed.

I can say I think I took for granted a lot of those days, they were often long and hard. Randy was in school full time and worked full time. I was home by myself a lot. It felt like the longest year of my life after Little Miss was born, but if I could go back and do it again, I would. I would worry less and play more. And embrace the silliness that embodies my children. I miss that stage.

I love where my kids are right now though. They are entertaining and are great for conversations. I love just spending time with them and understanding them. But I am ready for time to stop. Or even go backwards. I want it to quit passing at warp speed.

The Simple Things

Some things in life just make you smile. The sound of kids giggling. The sun shining brightly. The smell of fresh baked sweets. Cotton Candy. The first signs of Spring. Fresh budding flowers. I could go on and on.

But today I am loving a simple thing. I love color crayons, and specifically a fresh box of crayons just opened and not touched. The points are still sharp and they are in a random colorful order of happiness. It's the simple things in life. The things that bring back memories, and bring you back to the no-cares-in-the-world days of childhood. Fresh color crayons are simply that.