Woman to Woman: Facing your parenting fears

Woman to Woman: Facing your parenting fears

I remember when I first found out I was pregnant with Little Man, I was ecstatic! Seriously ecstatic. I was going to be a Mom, life was going to be perfect. Then I thought about it more, analyzed it, and I realized I knew nothing. I didn't like to change diapers. I didn't love everyone elses kids. They thought of changing a diaper had me gagging and ready to throw up at any moment. What was I doing? And then there was the whole getting the baby out of me. Holy scary!

He came out and things went quite smoothly. And then in the wee hours of the morning I got to change my first diaper of my son. I took off his diaper, and he peed, and pooped the yucky black meconium. He peed and it hit him in his face, it was a mess. I paged a nurse since I needed new clothes for him and new bedding. I was afraid to tell them he peed in his face because I thought they would tell me what a bad Mom I was. But they asked and I sheepishly told them yes, and they laughed and said oh the joys of a boy! She reassured me things were okay and it was just fine.

I haven't had a lot of fears with raising my kids, besides them growing up in such a wicked world. I want to raise righteous children who love the Lord, who are hard workers, and kind. I pray that I am doing enough to help them and teach them.

My biggest fear I have had with my kids involves what other people say about me as a Mother, and about my children. When I hear things that are hurtful and mean said about my parenting, or about my children I fear that somehow it might be true, or will be. And I fight that much harder to keep it from ever being true. But the words haunt me. My biggest fear as a Mother is that they might be true and I don't know it. It crushes me when I hear things said about me or my children. It makes me whole body hurt. And I wonder why things that are hurtful would be said if there wasn't truth. But Randy is great to remind me it isn't true and I am a good mother, and my children are wonderful children of mine. Children who are very much like their Mother and Father. Children who make me laugh, who help me to remember the days when I was little. Children who make me feel complete, and who I would never change, and I love the way they are. The are perfect.

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