Another Week Down

Six weeks ago when Randy started his training I thought how am I going to do this alone? How will I make it through seven weeks of him being gone, home for about 40 hours on the weekends. How will I stay sane? How do I go that long without the love of my life? How do I keep the house clean, and try to get it sold? How do I find the next one? Can I really handle all of this? Why me, why now?
Amazingly I am doing it. I am managing to keep the house clean, the kids dressed and clean, and get it all done. I have a new found confidence in my skills as a Mother and as a housekeeper and wife. I feel like I am able to do it all, and be okay.
I prayed and prayed that I wouldn't have to do this alone again, (I did it for five weeks once.) But I had to. I truly believed that my house would sell before the training began so I could stay with my parents and not be alone. It didn't happen that way. I understand why now. I needed to realize how much I am able to do, and that I am doing a good job.
I have learned to not yell at my children, what a great blessing that is for my children, but especially me. The tone has changed. I am already seeing the blessings in my life.
I have found more fun things to do with my children to keep them happy and entertained. I have been challenged and I feel I have risen to the occasion. I do not always feel like I succeed, but I am this time. I feel good about that!
I miss Randy, oh how I miss him. I feel I value him even more now. He is the best man in the world. He is my Knight in Shining Armor, my Prince Charming. I miss just being near him, and I cannot wait to see him soon. I am incomplete without him. I feel it is good to realize just how much you need and love your other half.
I have started back at the gym, it is so good for me. It gives me a chance to just be. To focus on myself and I just feel all around better. The kids enjoy the break, and the chance to play with some other kids.
Through it all I have felt my Heavenly Father's loving hand. I have felt His Spirit when I have most needed it. I have felt His guidance, and He has brought me peace and given me the strength to do it when I had so many things going wrong when Randy left. He has blessed me so very much and I am so grateful. I know that He is in control and that all the details will fall into place as we relent control and give it to Him. Let Him lead us, go willingly and blindly He will teach us so very much. How grateful I am for a loving Father who is aware of my needs, even better than I am, what a terrific blessing.
Another week down, next week is the last full week. I can do it, I believe in myself, but most importantly my Father believes in me.