Do you ever feel you are sinking? Like your ship is going down? I do. And it is not a pleasant feeling, and one that I try my hardest to get to go away. I told Randy this AM I felt like I was sinking. I wasn't sure I was doing the best as a mother. Was I doing what my kids needed me to do?
Little Man has had his adjustment going back to school. I try my hardest to do the best but sometimes it just feels like my efforts are in vain. I have spent quite a bit of time on my knees praying for guidance with him. He is busy, he is good, he is creative, he keeps me on my toes, and he is a sweet loving boy. And after much prayer and contemplation I know that my reactions when he does things is what triggers his reactions to me. He mimics me. Nice huh? So the things he does that I don't like he just learned them from me. How is that for perspective? As I work on me to be better I believe that he will become better. I have a stronger influence than I realize at times, and one that can be for good or bad. It is up to me to teach him. The days I feel like I am failing him, he can sense my feeling of failure and picks up on it. My attitude and feelings as a mother greatly effect my child's action. I have more control than I want to realize I do.
I realize how little I know about being a Mother. And sometimes I feel very unqualified to have these special kids that my Heavenly Father is allowing me to raise. Thankfully our Heavenly Father blesses us with guidance and inspiration. I am praying for patience and the ability to step back and listen to the Spirit in situations where I am frustrated. My kids deserve this. I can do this. Perspective.. it is all about realizing what is important, and what isn't. Getting rid of the things that don't matter, forgetting the worries and stresses and focusing on what really matters in life.
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11 comments:
I understand completely. Raising children is definitely the accelerated route through the refiners fire. There is nothing more agonizing or glorious. You are a very good mother.
I have been feeling the same way with Josh lately. I understand exactly what you mean.
You are a wonderful mother.
At times it feels like the only way to be a good mother is to be perfect. But therein lies the lesson- motherhood is a humbling calling,as it should be! It's a learning experience for our children and for us!
you are a great mother but I totally get the down days. I have been struggling with the same problem with nathaniel. I know he is struggling but I also know that a large part of it is reactions to the struggles I have been going through. It is hard when you realize that the things that you struggle with most in your kids are the things that are learning from you. Keep up the good work. As my sister is always telling me, it is the fact that you care enough to seek for answers that makes you a good mother.
Amen! I have the same feelings with my kids all the time. Especially with Emily. she wants so badly to be just like me and sometimes I'm not a very good example. I wish I was better. I'm trying! Thank goodness kids are resilient.
You are an amazing mother.
I feel the same way, quite a bit lately. Being a mother is the most challenging and rewarding experience I have ever had. Back in the infertility days I thought I would never have a bad day if only I could have kids. And I just knew that I could be the perfect mother if given the chance. Now that #3 is here I finally allow myself the luxury of knowing there are tough times and I can't do it all perfect. I can try to be perfect, but I never will...I can do my best and that will count for a lot. And then there's the "you care enough to seek for answers..." I really believe that is true.
BTW so glad you got the hat/recess thing all worked out. Proud of you for staying calm...not there yet, but I have a feeling mama bear will have trouble staying in when things are tough!
Big Ditto to your post. I'm learning that prayer is a daily necissity and that I just can't do everything that comes along with mothering without it. I've tried, believe me, and it just doensn't work out. So you're ahead of me! Its good that you realize how important prayer is. I know but I tend to think I can do it all on my own. I think when we step back and try to get some perspective it one of the best mothering tools we have. You are a great mom just for doing that!!!! ((HUGS))
It seems I can't comment without spell check either!!! :)
Well first of all I think you need to know that I think you're a wonderful mother and lady. I'm still getting to know you, but what I have learned is that you have been through so much physically and mentally, and the challenges that you face (that we all face) are for our growth and strength, though I'm sure we would all love to stop slamming our heads against the wall. Or at least stop feeling like that is what we are doing. I think you are a pretty sane and normal woman with AWESOME values. The fact that you are striving to do what the Lord would have you do, even when you feel that the world is collapsing all around you.
I guess what I'm saying is that I completely understand and agree with you and to some degree have felt your pain. Just keep doing what you’re doing and I know things will get better. (smile)
Love ya
Aim
I sympathize! You are awesome and your kids are lucky to have someone who cares so much.
Our kids have picked up our bad habits, too -- like yelling, my word we all yell so much! I could go on, like getting frustrated when something doesn't quite work (from me), etc.
The funny thing is, I hate those qualities in myself, so I get annoyed when the kids exhibit them. Like it's not my own fault!
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